Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Right and Wrong?

Something I read recently in a book called "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" really struck me. The jist of it is that even though many people chose to parent differently from you, there doesn't have to be a "right" and "wrong" way.

The quote comes from a section about "Coping with Pressure from Outsiders" and goes like this:
"Other people nearer your own age may need to put down your decisions as defense for their own parenting choices on the assumption that one of you has to be wrong. (How much better it would be if we could, every one of us, think through what seems right and feels right for our own families and then be neither threatened nor threatening when the neighbors do not make the identical decisions!)"

It made me think about some of the discussions going on here lately and how I and others might come across. While it's true that I write about things that I believe in here, I would never say that my way is the "right" way or only way. Don't get me wrong, I feel very strongly about many things, but I'm not going to tell anyone they are wrong because they don't do things the way I do.

I hope that those who do not parent the same way I do, do not feel like I'm saying my way is the only way. It is not my intention to threaten anyone. I also hope we can continue to have intelligent, thought-provoking and respectful discussions here.

Thank you.


At 6/01/2005 2:19 PM, Anonymous Brandy said...

Amy, I have found this to be true as well. I have found that it's ok to say that I "parent the right way" but have added "for my child and our family". I will continue to tell ppl that I parent my child the right way simply bc it feels right for *this* child. I am constantly aware that with the addition of future children we might have to do things differently.

Just as I say that I parent my child correctly (hopefully he will somewhat agree when he's an adult) I would not tell another that they are doing it wrong. The problem I have is when ppl parent w/o conscious thought. Our little children deserve parents that are in tune and not on auto-pilot 95% of the time. That's part of the attachment problem in my opinions. I would never let *my* kids (or children I was watching for someone else) cry it out but I think that this would be *less* detrimental if they were then tuned into their children the other 95% of the time.

"What a world it could be" if we could teach our children by example that there is a right and wrong for them and just as it is for them it is for others as well.

Thanks for the reinforcement. I hope that I can teach our son that with honesty and compassion shown to others.

At 6/01/2005 6:52 PM, Blogger Running2Ks said...

I hope that people can be more respectful. Honestly, with the way some people post, one would think you were a tyrant; obviously, you aren't. You have beliefs, you share, and you are open to ideas. I am really feeling gun-shy about allowing much open discussion my blog if this is the way people treat each other. I hope you get more respectful discussions--there are those of us out here who like how you think.

At 6/10/2005 3:41 PM, Blogger Rowan said...

I appreciate the opportunity to voice without impunity. Too much of my life is spent worrying about people's judgement.

In the words of Martin Luther King (Jr.?): “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

At 6/13/2005 1:34 AM, Blogger Blog writer said...

Ah, so true. There is just not *one* right way to go abt in everyday life. so many ways to reach the nearest walmart. upto you to choose the way.
they all have the same perpose in mind. they all want their kids to be the best :) it would be so much easier if everyone understood this. even as far as raising kids is concerned ppl strive to look for loose threads in your approach- just bec0z itz diferent from theirs!


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